You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
