ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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