haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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