Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
