So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We got so high we made milksteak
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
