If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Randomize
