I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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