i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I didn't notice because vodka
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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