I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
