I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
