hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
