I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have peed in a lot of sinks
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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