he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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