dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
