now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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