It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He? As in you personified your dick?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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