I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We need to get me chipped asap
He's on the porch naked. Help.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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