so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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