how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
