ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
