I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
