All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
