I can tuck mytits in my pants
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
