DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
