One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
