my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
