I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
