I'm eating all of the evidence.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
