Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
