I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
