Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I need moral support for this bender
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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