we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
