Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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