And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
how do flat chested girls get laid?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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