I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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