you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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