I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
