your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
