im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
