so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We got so high we made milksteak
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
