Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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