this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
