She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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