This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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