So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We need to rekindle our bromance
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
