dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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