I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
did you just send me my own nude
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
