Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
