I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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