Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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