That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
