There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
