He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
